NF – Happy Lyrics

NF:

Living in my agony
Watching my self-esteem go up in flames, acting like I don’t
Care what anyone else thinks…
Who I’d be, if I was happy?

Dear God, please
Hear me out, I know it’s been a couple years
Since I’ve reached
Out and said hello, I bet you’re wondering
Why I keep
Obsessing on, and stressing all the lethal things
When I shouldn’t be
Living life and soaking up the memories
I know I’ve been selfish, I have
No excuse to give you, it’s true
Hanging by a thread, so I live
I don’t know why, but I feel more comfortable.

[Chorus:]
Living in my agony
Watching my self-esteem go up in flames, acting like I don’t
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully, that that’s the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I’m too proud to open up and ask you
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I’m trapped in
The truth is, I need help but I just can’t imagine, no
Who I’d be, if I was happy?

Yeah, been this way so long, it feels like something’s off when I’m not depressed
I got some issues that I won’t address, I got some baggage I ain’t open yet
I got some demons I should put to rest, I got some traumas that I can’t forget
I got some phone calls I’ve been avoiding, some family members I don’t really connect with
Some things I said, I wish I would’ve have not let slip
Some hurtful words that never should’ve let my lips
Some bridges burned, I’m not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities, I haven’t dealt with, yes
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a lonely soul
And the last to admit I need a hand to hold
Losing hope, made it down a dangerous road
Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I’m—

[Repeat Chorus.]

Don’t know what’s around the bend
Don’t know what my future is
But I can’t keep on living in—

[Repeat Chorus.]

If I was happy
If I was happy…